Someday He Will Kill Me For This Outfit!

I couldn't resist the little hat! It does make him look a bit like a girl but so what- he is cute! This was at our family Christmas party! He had a great time and behaved himself and somehow managed to sleep through some of it too!

His sleep hasn't improved; he is actually more clingy now and more vocal. Remember when I said this child never cried? Well, he has made up for it! We can't put him down; he wants to be near us. I wouldn't mind that he is sleeping with us but he is just so restless and moves and fusses so much, that sleep has been difficult to obtain because of it.

Two nights ago (the night before I left for NY), he was up so often that I think I saw every hour of the night and early am! Last night while I was getting beautiful sleep in the hotel in NY, Russ was up every two hours with him. They say once teeth start coming in, they just keep coming...but we haven't see any new teeth in a while now. He only has his two bottom front teeth. So, maybe his upper teeth are trying to come in??? And he has been a bit stuffy but this can't be the reason for his sleep night after night either. I am tired of trying to figure it out---does that make me horrible?

I had a really cool trip to NY city. Our office party was at The Players Club which was owned by John Booth----James Wilkes Booth's brother. I might have messed up names but the brother who didn't kill the president owned the home. It was incredible; the history was immense! His library was huge and holds the largest amount of playscripts, and we saw his bedroom just the way he left it.

Then---we went to Gramercy Park- the acutal park! We walked through it in the snow. It was great! History lesson- Gramercy Park is one of two private parks in all of NY state. The only peope who have a key (it is a locked park) are the people who have homes with windows facing the park. One of my bosses, is the treasurer of the park. He took us through. I learned that Julia Roberts also lives right across the street from The Players Club.

What a cool place!

Sleeping Update

First, thank you all for your supportive comments! Update...crying hasn't worked. It has made him worse...or it is all timing. He screams like we are cutting his head off now! The first few nights were not dramatic or all that difficult...but it has just gotten worse. I also think he is cutting his top teeth. I think we are going to try this again in a few weeks. But for now...we are calling it off!

Scrub a dub dub- I love to splash in the tub!

Aiden discovered how to splash! He use to kick his feet when he was little, but you know that he didn't know cause and effect....well, he does now! It was so cute!

Party- 3AM!

Well, it didn't start at 3 AM but I think it lasted past 3AM. I am not sure at this point. We are going to try the cry it out method. It is drastic but here it is 9 months now, and he continues to wake up numerous times in the night and demands us. WE ARE TIRED! We can't keep doing this. We have to try something. I am not functioning well, and I don't think Russ is at his prime either. I was so tired last and getting so angry. That isn't good. Then I just broke down and cried.

Parenting is hard but it is so much harder at 1:50 in the morning with your son looking up at you and smiling and wanting to play when all you want to do it go back to sleep because you are so tired. And the thing is...I think if this had happened on Monday night, I would feel differently. As the work week goes on, the more tired I get.

Teeth, Clapping and Crawling

Aiden officially has two front teeth! The second one just appeared earlier this week. Over the weekend, he figured out how to clap, and I think this is my favorite thing he does right now besides putting his chin to his chest and looking up at you with a serious face! And he is crawling...well, I should say pulling himself and lunging himself every where. He is on the move! He is trying to stand up too! It won't be too much longer before he chases the dogs all over the place. Those dogs won't know what to think.

Russ' grandmother turned 85 this weekend, and we were at her house for a big birthday party on Sunday. Aiden was a huge hit with everyone, and we stayed after everyone else left so he could spend some time with his great grammy! She just loves him so much; she giggles the whole time she is with him!

Pictures Recovered!

A local camera shop was able to save my photos! Yippee!!! Here is Aiden as a monkey for his first Halloween!

Stuff

So our camera has all these cute pictures of Aiden in his costume but for some reason, it can't transfer the photos! So for right now, I have no pictures! It kills me! I am not sure if we can save them or not. Boo!

Russ and I have been looking at our finances, and we looked at how much we try to make our life convienent, and how much we end up spending to make our life a bit easier...meaning, we tend to eat on the go a lot thinking that the two or three bucks is no big deal. Well, our mouths hit the floor! I mean we knew it but to actually do the math- So we have vowed to make breakfast each morning at home, but we have also vowed to have one date night a month. We tried that before but didn't stick to it. So that is our plan.

I hope it works!

The Past Few Weeks

The past few weeks have been really hard for Russ and me. It started with Aiden getting sick. He was so congested and had so much post nasal drip that I ended up sitting up with him most nights on the couch. We did sleep but in the sitting up position. After a few days of that, Russ and I started doing shift work---taking turns on the couch. After three doctor visits and many days of staying home, the doctor concluded that he was close to pneumonia and had an ear infection. Then, on Saturday, I was having a hard time breathing, so I had to go to the ER (everything seems to happen on weekends) to get my lungs listened to...I have bronchitis.

We are back to work and daycare, but it isn't over yet. Man, I am tired!

My Favorite Photo of Aiden

OUCH!

My biggest fear happened last night---he bit me! He bit me so hard, my nipple bled! Then---later that night- he bit me on the other side...but at least with no blood involved!

Not impressed!

Two Milestones!

Aiden has cut one tooth---it is slowly making it's way out...it is the bottom right one. Right now it is just a sharp sliver. And...Aiden was laying on the floor last night and got himself into a sitting position! YAY, Aiden!

(The other night I was thinking of how different Aiden is going to look with a full set of teeth! It is so bittersweet- this growing up business!)

A Great Article About Weight Loss!

Training for Life Provided by: www.debbierocker.com
Burn the Fat, Keep it Off Posted Tue, Oct 07, 2008, 9:12 am PDT

We often discuss ways to burn off excess fat and calories, but what we do to take off weight is only a small part of the equation – keeping it off needs just as much attention, probably more.Why can’t we keep it off? Here’s my belief: When we desperately want to lose weight we engage in activities that are too darn difficult to maintain. For example, we drastically reduce our caloric intake – eat too much less – or too differently - to be able to keep doing it for very long.
We start an exercise program that is too demanding – too physically tough, takes too much time, is too expensive - to keep up for very long. Soon we just stop doing them. Then, very often, because we cannot maintain the program that we set up, we have a backlash. We punish ourselves emotionally and physically by overeating, not exercising at all, and basically giving up.
Then, a few weeks or months or years later, we become desperate to lose weight again, and we start another, "too difficult" plan to take the weight off, and once again it fails. This cycle goes on and on for so many people. How do we stop this (try to lose weight/give up) cycle?Here’s what I suggest:1. Take a good hard look at your past attempts and assess what is realistic and what is just too unlikely for you to sustain?2. Don’t be hard on yourself about the past, it’s done, it’s gone, it’s over, but useful for informing the future.3. Accept the fact that work is involved. You are going to have to change your ways, give up some things, adjust, adapt, and accept that a new way of eating and a new level of activity will take a concerted and focused and deliberate effort.4. Be your own champion. Give yourself realistic goals and build yourself a support system, but remember that you and only you can make this happen; you must champion the change.5. Don’t let a lapse, or setback, in your new plan become a relapse or ending to something that you have started. There will be mistakes, missed workouts and unplanned meal experiences but that is all part of the program when you are doing something for the long haul. Being able to stick with it means allowing for lapses.6. No more "if – thens." If I lose weight, then I will buy a new outfit/look for a new job/start dating – no. Your life is in session now; so don’t act as if it will begin when you lose the weight. Getting yourself to engage and take action in all areas of your life will help you champion your own fitness/weight loss program to success.I know you can do this if you start off with a realistic idea of what your plan should and shouldn’t look like (#1). If you are kind to yourself (#2) you’ll be more likely to keep going when the going gets tough (and when your plan doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would).
Your desire to change must be matched by an effortful willingness to change (#3), and you’d do well to invite other caring individuals into your plan (#4) while you remember that your opinion (and decision) is really the one that matters. Progress moves forward and back (#5) and now is the time (#6) to make your commitment to not just lose weight but live healthfully from here on out.Peace and Happy Healthy Trails,Debbie Rocker
2007 walkvest.com . All Rights Reserved.

PS- I'm The Mommy!

Now feeling guilty- I do want to say that I am very satisified with Aiden's daycare. She loves him and he gets so much love and attention. I just like to make the executive decisions in his life...since I am the MOMMY! :)

NKOTB

There is nothing wrong with reliving your childhood every once in a while. It was a FREAKIN' BLAST! Thank you Cheri for a wonderful birthday present! I had a great time rocking out to Step by Step and my new favorite- Dirty Dancing! Bummer that my t-shirt didn't fit but when it fits again...we will have to do something really crazy with those tee's---maybe karaoke or bar hopping...something I never do! :)

I'm The Mommy!

Why should I be intimidated of my daycare provider? I pay her to take care of my son? Yet, I am hesitant to speak up to her. She intimidates me. She shouldn't. He is my son. See my pattern?? I have to keep reminding myself to get over this fear and stand up! Yet, it still scares the bejeepers out of me.
Yesterday, she gave Aiden two oyster crackers and a sippy cup. Yeah, it may not seem like a big deal but to me it is. I hadn't okayed either of those things.
I really struggle with the fact that I have to leave him at daycare as well as the fact that I miss out on so many things. For those of you that are thinking, "Well, you get to see him in the morning and evening and on the weekends." For those of you thinking that- go to hell. Sorry to be rude but really, it isn't comforting to know that I essentially only get to see him for 1.5 hours in the am (in between showering, getting dressed, etc) and for 1.5 to 2.5 hours of awake time in the evening. So at the most during the week, I see him for 4 hours out of 24 hours. So FREAKING sad to me!
Anyways, I am his mom, and I would like to feel a bit of control over some of his firsts since I will miss a lot of them. One is his food. Sippy cups can encourage weaning...I have worked too damn hard to have him weaned...I am with him weaning himself but not for it to be forced up on because he was being difficult at the bottle. I am not completely hung up on organic but oyster crackers have a lot of salt...and I am afraid of choking. I am being a bit of a hung strung first time mom---just for this once, okay?! I am not completely comfortable, and I would like to be comfortable or somewhat comfortable with it before I send him off with food for someone else to monitor until I a bit comfortable...
Anyways, I did speak with my daycare provider this am. She knew exactly what I was going to say. I was direct and honest. The kicker is, she said to me that she knew I would be upset. So why did she do it then without asking me? Apparently because he wanted it. I guess that is another fish to fry.
Did I say yet that I would rather be home with my son?

Homesick

I went on my company retreat a few weeks ago, and I had never experienced homesickness before. I do not know how people who go on shows like The Biggest Loser can be gone for so long. The first night I was an emotional wreck! I also found it very challenging to pump for three days! I had a great time, but I was so glad to be home too! (I just want to add that the fish I caught was 20 pounds and 36 inches long! The horse I rode was named Jill!)

Oh (groan) What a Night! (Groan Again!)

Okay---so lucky me got my period yesterday along with a migrane, and Aiden wouldn't sleep all afternoon while I am suppose to be working from home...he finally went down around 5 and only stayed down for about 30 minutes. All in all- only 2.5 hours of naptime all day. He usually gets 4 or 5 hours. It made for a complicated afternoon. I am finding it harder to work at home because he needs to be more entertained...he will stay at something for just a short period and then he has had enough.

I got him to bed around 8---but he was back up again at 8:10! Let the evening begin. He was up every hour. I slept for about three hours while Russ tended to Aiden...but after 11:30- I was up with him. Aiden nursed almost every time...and around 3:30 this morning, I decided that I was going to go to the livingroom and nurse him there (since he was wide awake) so Russ could get some sleep. I didn't make it down the stairs very well. I fell down! With Aiden in my arms! HOLY CRAP! I was so scared. I am not sure if I missed the last two or three or four steps. Some how I managed to hold him and he didn't hit anything. But me---ouch! I am a hurting unit. Needless to say, I am not sure what time I feel back asleep but to top it all off, both dogs decided to sleep on my hurt leg and I had Aiden attached to me, and I had cramps throughout my body due to my period. Can I go home now?

Enough of my whining! I am just thankful Aiden didn't get hurt~!

FOOD!

So we have started solids! I am not sure what to make of the whole thing. It just goes to show how fast babies grow---it is a bittersweet thing...everytime he learns something new---it is great but it means he is one step further from being a baby. :-(



There is so much info on what you should and shouldn't do regarding food. It is overwhelming! All I can say at this point is that I am going to go by his cues, try to give him organic and make as much of it myself as I can.



I want to add that Russ has such a hard time with messes like the one posted here! It is very funny to listen to Russ when Aiden sticks his hand in his spoon or like the other night when he grabbed his bowl of squash and I caught it as Aiden was going to fling it over the edge of the highchair!

Some Recent Photos That I Love

You Went Camping with a Baby?!

Yes, I did, and he rocked! This is my blog so I can brag all I want. :) He was awesome! He barely fussed! We had a great time; we wished we could have stayed longer. It was a lot of work for just a weekend, but I am so glad we went. We went with our dear friends: Cheri, Chris, Nate, Monique and Simon. Acadia was absolutely gorgeous too, and the weather was pretty good too. Friday night it drizzled but nothing serious.

Some highlights for me were:

Spending tons of time in the car with my best friend Cheri and singing and talking and laughing.

Making wonderful memories with such good and dear people that mean the world to me.

Seeing the beautiful scenery.

Having a bird land on Monique's head.

Listening to my friends sing around the campfire.

Russ' invention of Sm'Oreos.

Spending the whole weekend with my son.

(And I don't know why I can't seem to put photos in my blogs randomly---why do they always stay on the top! UGH!)

Me Me

I've been tagged by Cheri to complete the meme. So here it goes!



What is something you'd love to say to your younger selves of 2, 5, 10 and 15 years ago? (Doesn't necessarily have to be the same thing each time.)



Two years ago; I was 28 - Don't get discouraged. You will overcome your health issues. You will learn from it. You will teach others. Embrace this experience to it's fullest.

Five years ago - I was 25 - Don't use your credit card...don't use your credit card....don't use your credit card. Remember what your mom always use to say---if you can't pay it off at the end of the month, don't use it!



Ten years ago - I was 20 - Don't get your heart set on teaching. You may not be going in that direction, but it will be okay because the experiences you are having today, will help you out later in life in many different situations.



Fifteen years ago - I was 15 - You are skinny! You are not fat! In 15 years you are going to be wearing much bigger clothes...so stop feeling bad about yourself.

(Typically you tag people to do this...Kate, I am tagging you. Maybe you will get started to blog after all!)

Sitting Pretty

Aiden is sitting up. He is not completely successful at it---making many nose dives but he is getting the hang of it! God, I love him!

Amazing

Babies are amazing. They grow at a rapid rate and communicate to us on so many levels. It starts with just a certain cry. You learn what each cry means and what that baby wants. Then it starts to progress into stronger cries and slight body movements. (Mind you- wet diapers are also part of the communication.) But then suddenly your baby starts making eye contact- then they start making other noises to tell you what they want. Then one day they respond to their name and turn their head and look at you. They move their bodies in a certain way. I am just in awe at how much Aiden is "talking" to us lately, but I am also in awe how much he spoke to us this week when he didn't feel well. I can't explain how much he has said to us without saying a single word yet how much he has grown this week with his body language and voice...

Do I make any sense?

First Trip to the Hospital and Working From Home

My poor little guy had his first trip to the hospital. It was very scary for all of us. He hadn't been himself for a few days not thinking he was sick or coming down with something or fighting something...but again- we missed the BIG sign- He was being annoying...he was just complaining. It took a fever and horrible tears and crying for us to figure it out (at 1am). At least I knew it wasn't constipation...



I don't know how I am still awake at 9:52pm with very little sleep last night. I am just glad that I was satisfied with the hospital and Aiden's doctors---the on-call nurse last night was very condescending. I am glad to know that I like the ER near our house, and that they are very good and kind to little ones.

I have been trying to work from home but it isn't working out too well. I am tired, and the baby just won't sleep...

I hope he feels better soon. He was crying so hard this morning that I just cried with him!

Water Time!

As you can see---he isn't too sure about the water just yet---well, the ocean that is...

He has been in the pool a few times as well and did okay with it the second time. I sure hope he loves to swim. I would love to enroll him in a baby swimming class...and get him swimming well by the time he is three. I don't want my child to be afraid of the water.

(and maybe some day, we can buy a pool and just live like fishies in the summertime!)

Ugly

I am in a very ugly mood---I have been for a few days now. I am scared of the state of our economy---ours as in mine personally as well as the state of Maine and the nation. I am scared of what is going on with oil. I knew that having a child would greatly impact our income and make it difficult but I do not like this stress I am having. I have to figure out a way to deal with it. I am not upset or regret having Aiden. He is wonderful. I am just saying that although I thought we were prepared...we aren't.

I am thinking this is quite common. It is very easy to meet the basic demands at first but then there are so many other things- like laundry detergent, thermometers, creams and lotions for this and that, additional bottles for daycare, and the list goes on. I am quite thankful for all the clothes and toy donations; I really appreciate them. I just pray that we can figure out a way really soon to make our life a bit easier. I know that money is going to stay very tight, and I am okay with that, but to get to a point where we can be on a budget and stay on it and pay our bills on time...that would make me much happier.

The Best Update of ALL

AIDEN SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! WOO HOO!!!!

(And he has discovered his feet!)

Time For Some Updating

I haven't just done any regular updating in a while. Aiden is 19 weeks old already! WOW! Time flies! He is laughing a bunch, rolling over (mostly front to back), and continues to smile all of the time. His sleep has dramatically improved. He has only been getting up once a night to eat and it is usually for only 15 minutes or so. Last night, he had an awesome night.
He has been getting his legs caught in between the slats in his crib. We are going to purchase a new crib bumper that is safer than a regular bumper- it is mesh; breathable! We are having Aiden sleep in the pack and play because we are afraid he will be frightened to sleep in his crib if his legs keep getting stuck.
This past weekend we went to a BBQ with the breastfeeding support group that I have been going to. It was really nice to see everyone and have Aiden be around babies his own age.

Baptized

Aiden was baptized yesterday. It was a very special day. He looked so cute in his baptismial outfit. Everyone that is near and dear to our hearts was there physically and few in spirit that have passed on or had other commitments. Aiden was very sweet when the priest blessed him and held his hands on Aiden's head. He also didn't have any problems when he was being baptized with the water.
We feel very blessed that everyone was able to come and participate. We really love his godparent's and know that they were the right choice for Aiden. They love him and they are both wonderful people. We know that Jesus will greet them at heaven's gate and present them to His Father. How blessed Aiden is.

Tugs

Tugs has conjunctivitis! No biggie! Phew!

My Other Children

Tugs and Tanner are like our other children. The past few days, I have noticed that Tugs' third eyelids (the ones underneath the dogs outer eyelids) are creeping upwards covering his eyes- they are not inflamed. He is going to the vet tomorrow. I really hope it is nothing serious...Cocker Spaniels tend to have eye problems, and it is common for them to go blind.

I just pray he is okay.

Nothing To Do with Baby Today...

As most of you know, I commute daily to work---about 20+ miles each way and take the highway. This morning, after dropping off Aiden, I choose to go back through Saco rather than backtracking to the highway. Well, there is an intersection where you YEILD and merge into the traffic before getting to the road that leads to the highway. Anyways, this "lady" honked and shooed me along with her hands because I wasn't speeding up to YEILD because I saw no point in rushing when there were numerous cars ahead of me and traffic was all backed up. What was the point, right? I HATE it when people are so much in a hurry that common sense is so blocked up there bum that the only thing that can spew out is rudeness and a competitive, I am in a hurry attitude. All I ask is, "WHAT IS THE POINT OF RUSHING WHEN IT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE?" Does it make a person feel so good to be able to cut into traffic and get that one car length ahead? Like my girlfriend Cheri says, "You win." Big whoop- all you win is a medal that says, "I am an asshole who likes to rush and put everyone at risk."
And that is another thing- YEILD. Don't most people take a test to get a license? YEILD doesn't mean speed up to cut people off in order to get off the ramp and into ONCOMING traffic.
One more thing while I am on a rant---shopping carts. People can walk all over these huge stores like Home Depot, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, Target and even the grocery stores...and then they can't walk twenty more feet to put the carts away---they would rather have someone elses car get hit with one, but God forbid their own car get hit. Someone's head would be lost if that were to happen.
Jeez people. Why are you such in a rush that you have to be one car length ahead and can't even take the time to put away your shopping carts.

Ode to Daddy

Russ has always been a great husband. I have always felt spoiled by him. He is generous and loving. But now that he is a dad, he has evolved into an even stronger, more passionate person. I have just watched his heart expand as well as the smile on his face. I love him with all of my heart. When he is interacting with Aiden, I see the love pour out of him. Aiden is such a happy boy, and I really believe he takes after his daddy. I am happy that Aiden is like his daddy, and I just hope that he takes on Russ' outlook in life too- with love, happiness and laughter.

I love you, Russ. I am so glad you are Aiden's daddy. Happy Father's Day!

Adjectives

One of the most commonly used words when talking about babies is "fun." Aren't babies so much fun? Isn't it just so fun? What a fun night we had! Oh, you'll have so much fun. It is just so much fun raising a baby. These comments can be both sarcastic and sincere. I remember Russ asking me, "Isn't it going to be so much fun to have a baby?" I looked at him like he was crazy, and asked him, "What is so fun about it?" I wasn't trying to be negative; I just tend to look at the things that need to get done...I am very anal...I saw how I would be up half the night, changing diapers, washing many loads of laundry...you get the idea...

Well, I have been thinking about "FUN." I think people use the word fun because there are so many adjectives to explain being a parent: rewarding, joyful, satisfactary, awesomeness (if that is a word), captivating, exilirating, exhausting, tough, constant, and so much more.

What is your adjective(s) to explain having a baby? I know for me- I can't sum it up with the word fun...but if someone asks me...Yes, it is fun having a baby. Just look at that smile--who can resist it or resist smiling back at that handsome little guy...and if you can, just look at his tummy and see if that doesn't make you smile.

Rolling?

Aiden is starting to roll! We have had him sleeping on a wedge with positioners because he likes to sleep on his side. Well, he has become too big for the wedge, so we have him sleeping on his back in his crib. The past two nights, he has been waking up frequently because he has partially rolled over or can't get comfortable. I can't wait until he can completely roll and isn't scared of it. Maybe scared isn't the right word but you know what I mean.

Remember how I have stated that I love how Aiden gets announced at daycare? The kids say, "Baby Aiden is here!" The picture shows how they all gather around him and get so excited. I just love it!

Aiden broke out in ezcema a few weeks ago---about the same time as I started using Target brand Dreft...so I decided to buy Dreft and see if it makes a difference. Last night we washed all of his clothes---so hopefully that is what started all of it...we shall see.

Aiden's Big Boy Bed

This is the bed we got Aiden over the weekend at a yardsale. Brand New! How cool is that!? At first it will be a standard bed, and when he gets old enough, we will make it into a bunk bed! I love spoiling him!

Oh, How We Love Him!

I just love the little things he does. I wish we could capture photos when he flashes his huge smile. We will get it one of these days! I also want to take a picture when he is about to cry---he makes the most hilarious face when he is pouting and about to scream. Is it horrible that we laugh when he is about to cry??? Because it really is quite funny!

Busy Weekend

Aiden's cold hasn't gone away yet...but he didn't let that interfere with his days. He was such a good boy this weekend...but when isn't he a good boy? He really is an easy baby. We are very lucky.



Friday night was the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Southern Maine auction. It was great! We got the cutest little chair for Aiden. I can't wait until he can use it. Mom babysat him, and she had a great time!



Saturday, Jacquee and Julia came over for the day and watched him so that I could get a jumpstart on painting our bedroom. I did get it all sanded, washed and started. Russ went out and bought a dog pen, which he started to assemble. Cheri and Chris came over in the evening so Russ and I could go out on a date. We were both so tired that we didn't really have a great time. It was fine but nothing romantic or anything. It was still nice to go out though.

Sunday, Cheri, Melanie and I participated in the heart walk. Aiden slept through the whole thing. Then we went out to brunch. I really had a nice time with them. After that, I went to the grocery store, and my mom came over to watch Aiden so I could start painting again. I was just too pooped when I got back from the store though, so I didn't get anything else accomplished. Aiden had his second shower last night. I put him in his tub and I run the shower...the steam really helps his cold. He has so much fun splashing all around.

The best part- he slept from 10 until 4:45 this morning! I feel like a completely different person! WOO HOO!!!

Playmates

Aren't they cute?!

And today...

And today he did this and yesterday he did that. They grow so freakin' fast. One day Aiden can't do something and the next- Presto! He can! Yesterday, he reached for a toy and held it and pulled on it all on his own! What a big boy! He is starting to laugh more too! If you tickle his sides, he twists his body and gives these huge grins and grunts almost and then BAM! A laugh. I can't wait until he can't stop laughing. And...(like I said, he does a lot) when I held him up and put his feet on the table, he actually kept his legs straight and held himself up for much longer than usual.

I just love him so much! He smiles all the time. Russ and I cleaned out his bureau already because he is growing so fast...and he seems so big. How time flies!

So one of the dogs has been having accidents and last night it was on the bed! I think one of them has a bladder infection. I sure hope it isn't jealousy! I am going to collect the sample and bring it to the vets. I sure hope it isn't jealousy. I know I have said that twice now but that really concerns me. I don't want a dog who will just pee anywhere to get back at me.

Aiden's First Shots

Aiden had his first shots on Monday. His appointment was at 11 but we didn't see the doctor until 11:45. It would have been nice if the receptionist had just said, "The Doctor had an emergency at the hospital this morning, so there will be a delay."

Anyways---pulled a first time parents thing---didn't bring Tylenol with us. So basically, Aiden didn't get Tylenol until after his nap. I had taken him to daycare, and when he woke up, he just started to cry and didn't stop. Poor little guy.

He had a rough day but by the next morning, he was back to himself.

Steps

Aiden has found his thumb--he has successfully gotten his thumb into his mouth. It still takes him a moment to get it, but he has done it. I realize this isn't something I am going to like or think is cute when it is time to break the habit...but for the moment, it is cute.

Also- Aiden slept for 7 hours in a row last night! WOO HOO!

Look What I Got!

YAY Me!

"I See Love In His Eyes"

Today's post is about Daddy.

This morning, Russ and I were rushing to get out the door, and Russ was putting Aiden in the carseat. He always takes the time to really look at him, and as he picked up the carseat to go out the door, he just casually said, "I see love in his eyes."

The other night, I was breastfeeding Aiden as part of his pre-bed routine. Russ came into Aiden's room to check on us and say goodnight to the baby. He just looked at us, and commented on how amazing it is that my body can grow this child and feed this child.

Russ is truly loving being a daddy, and he is doing a wonderful job at being a daddy. I am so very proud of him, and I love him so much! I look forward to his comments because he is really relishing in the moment and taking it all in.

Precious

Stuff

This is the first full week of work and daycare, and Aiden caught a cold early Monday, so I have really struggled with being away from him. I like his daycare but I am finding that I am very possessive of my son and get very upset with how loving my providor is towards my son. I know that sounds weird because it is great that she is kind and loving and gentle and caring towards him...but I am jealous and upset that I can't do that for him all day long, and I am upset that the one day I drop him off and he is awake, she takes him out of my arms. I realize she is probably trying to get me out of the drop so in the future I learn how to drop him off and not create anxiety...but it is only our first full week. I don't know! Plus, he has been doing most of his sleeping in his car seat which bothers me. She has a pack and play and a bouncy seat...

Yesterday, we bought an activity mat and brought it to her. I am hoping she puts him on it. He is really starting to grab for things and look at things, and since I can't be there to stimulate him all day long, I really hope she is doing it. I will look forward to seeing his notes tonight when I get home.

The other day I said, "My son....," and it was just like saying my husband or my finance for the first time. It gave me the shivers!

I bought a "hooter cover" the other day too. I hope it works well. Aiden doesn't like to be covered up while nursing, and he does horrible nursing when I have him covered. The hooter cover has a good bit of ventilation, so I hope that this works...I don't want to have to go to a bathroom or dressing room or some corner when he needs to eat and struggle with a blanket, etc.

I know I am rambling...my thoughts are all over the place, and I am just down right tired! I think Russ is going to let me sleep in on Sunday. I can't wait!

Colds and Laughing

Aiden laughed for the first time on Sunday night! It was so precious! I wish you could have all heard him. He was starting to doze on my shoulder...and just gave three little chuckles!

On Sunday night, he didn't want to be put down...he wouldn't let up. He was like that all evening. Well, at 4am, when we got up for a feeding, he was all stuffed up! He has a cold. I called the doctor's office yesterday afternoon because there isn't too much you can do for a little person, so I wanted to know what I could do. I went out and got a vaporizer---it is a frog! So cute! Today, he is still stuffy and didn't really want to eat. He was in a good mood though. Hopefully, I don't get a call from daycare!

First Week Back

So the first day of daycare was on Tuesday. We need to be out by 7:30 in the am but on this day we wanted to be out by 7:15 so that I could spend some time at daycare...

Well, Aiden puked in his Moses basket at 6:45am right before Russ went to get him to go change him...so it was time to get out a bath. We managed to still get out on time, and I got to work in time! I actually did okay...only cried here at home when Russ put Aiden in his car seat!

Aiden has done really well at daycare. Work has been fine...just overwhelming with the amount I need to organize. There are office supplies missing, a gift certificate for the auction missing...UGH! So many deals have happened, and I don't know about them...so it stresses me out. But not like it would have before...

Pumping at work is interesting. I actually found doing half days at home and half days at work hard because when I am home---baby wants to eat, needs a diaper change, etc. I found myself sitting on the floor with my back up against the couch, laptop on the coffee table, boppy on my lap and baby on boob. It was very complicated.

Well, next week is daycare all day---so we will see how it goes!

Smiles!

Just look at that smile! Oh it just kills me. Nothing goes through my heart like that smile!

He has been cooing and just so adorable!

Six Weeks Post-Delivery...With More Boob Problems

It has been six weeks! Time flies! My little guy is already 11 pounds 1 oz. WOW! We have been using only one to two bottles a day now---so almost completely on the boob! ;) But he is still getting breastmilk. I went to the lactation consultant today because I thought he was latching on wrong because my nipples hurt so badly to the point that I was in tears last night when I couldn't hold Aiden against me without severe pain. I was confused because I didn't have any cracking, splitting, or anything like that.

Here is what we decided: I either have thrush (yeast infection) or Raynaud's Phenomenon. I think it is Raynaud's---meaning my nipple turns white, then blue, then red. It means that the blood flow is lacking and slowly returns. It hurts when I get cold or chilled especially. It can be thought of thrush because of the type of pain I am having but I do not have pain when I am nursing. Another thing I learned...if I do have thursh, Aiden's pediatrician will not treat him unless he presents with symptoms even though he is now a carrier of it, so if I do have thrush and it gets cleared up, Aiden can just give it back to me. So....I am hoping it isn't thrush.

On a fun note...I am getting my hair colored tonight! I haven't decided yet if we are just going with blonde highlights or red and blonde highlights or just red highlights! FUN!

Updates

Today, I went to my breastfeeding support group. I told the nurse that I was about ready to give up and just start supplementing so that I wouldn't have to pump so often because I wasn't seeing an increase in my milk supply. She taught me how to get Aiden on me without the breastshield, which is good because: he is getting more of my nipple in his mouth which will give me more stimulation which should increase my milk flow...so I am hoping and willing to give it a few more days.

Also--- I am down to 200 pounds. That means I am down 31 pounds! I hope to lose 20 more by Christmas! I hope I can do it!

We are going to daycare today to sign Aiden up and write our first check! One more week at home. Boo Hoo!

Frustrations

My milk supply is low. I have been trying everything I have heard...I know it will still take some time, but it is frustrating. We went out and bought a pump, and I am worried that was a waste. I had a really stressful weekend, most of which I brought on myself but it was mostly because I was trying to balance my house and my child...plus when I am stressed, I like to have my house in order because it makes me feel better. A nasty cycle.

Plus, my temp quit- so it just makes me even more worried about the state of my work that I will have when I return.

My church won't call me back about a baptism. The church secretary got very defense, and I wasn't even rude.

My child will not sleep at night lately. He moaned, groaned and fussed while asleep for over two hours last night! He won't sleep quietly or calmly unless he is on me or Russ or on our bed.

Plus- everything I eat is giving me gas which then gives Aiden gas. I don't know what to do.

I just feel frustrated---and sort of lost about what to do.

Being a Stay at Home Mom

I think I could do it...but it is very hard too...I find I am always planning and trying to get things done...because I am such a planner. I coordinated items with the daycare. I am dreading daycare. I really don't want to leave my child with anyone but someone that I know...and I know I have to work up the level of comfort, and thank god that work is giving me two weeks to ease back with half days! I just hope that I can get through it. I am really going to try to just soak up as much as I can while I am home. Why does money have to be such a dictator of how we live? I HATE IT!

Sorry for the ramblings.

I must post this picture of my sister-in-law Karen. She was absolutely giddy with excitement when Aiden was born. It was hilarious and sweet!

Updates---I think this post is always going to have TMI

So, I had heard that women who breastfeed get contractions similar to labor pains when breastfeeding...and it hadn't happened....until last night!!!!!! It hurt really bad!! I was crying, and Russ had to get me a heating pad and some meds. I thne slept for the rest of the night.

Maybe it was because Aiden had successfully breastfed twice yesterday? I mean, I have been pumping constantly....then it happened again this morning. It wasn't as bad this morning- last night I had pain throughout my torso with pressure in my bum...this am it was more like period cramps and only on my left side. Thank goodness these pains only last up to half an hour but I am afraid of having these pains when I am home alone with Aiden or in a store.

But---we have had success with breastfeeding- still need the breast shield to make it work...but that is okay. :)

Breastfeeding- Warning TMI posted here

Some people have no issues with breastfeeding- the baby just gets it. Well, Aiden isn't quite getting it. I have been struggling since day one with him. It is a lot of things---

For me: I have a hard time holding my breast (quite big) and holding him while he squirms and puts his hand over the top of my nipple so I can't see what he is doing. I can't seem to get my nipple in far enough or stay hard enough, long enough to make it worth his while (unless I use the breast shield.)

For Aiden: He has a small mouth (sort of). If he is yawning, his mouth opens up enough, but most times when he is hungry, his mouth is oval and it isn't wide enough. Most times, I have to adjust his bottom lip because he doesn't make the "fish lips," so it usually hurts my nipple. Aiden gets very frustrated quite quickly because he isn't getting instant satisfaction.

On a positive note, I was able to get him to latch for 15 minutes last night! Usually it is only for five. Russ brought down the rocking chair, and I think it made quite a difference because it put me more upright, and I think the angle was much better.

I am going to a breastfeeding support group today. Hopefully it helps. I am happy to pump to get my milk to come in and to supplement while I am at work and for the occassional bottle so Russ can take part, but I don't want to feel like all I am doing is pumping...it is different when the baby is latched.

Reflections

Here it is 7:22am, and I am watching the news after making some brownies, cleaning the bottles and getting something out of the freezer for dinner tonight. I was up at 5, feeding Aiden, then pumping and getting some breakfast. I have had so many emotions and thoughts constantly running through me for weeks now.

I am in love! I am in love with my husband all over again! I am in love with my newborn child! I am in love with so many things. I appreciate and adore my best girl friend to a whole new level! I feel bleesed to be loved by so many. I love staring at my little Aiden and am amazed that he came from Russ and me...that we created him! I still can't fathom that he came out of me! I am just in awe by everything right now!

I am feeling very blessed to have such a good baby. We are getting good amounts of sleep at night. Yesterday, we were out from 9:30am until 4:45 or so---he was awesome! (Mommy was more tired than anyone!) I am just amazed at my new addition in my life! I can't wait for each to begin and see what happens.

And Here's......AIDEN!!!!!

After 19 hours, Aiden Russell Dyer joined us at 7:34 PM on February 19th, 2008. He weighs in at a hefty, yet healthy 8 pounds, 8 ounces. He measures in at 21 1/2 inches. Those are the vitals, so after no further ado, here are the pictures. (We tried posting these from the hospital but the wirelesss was very, very slow! And then we came home...and getting a schedule and finding the time...)

BABY NEWS with Pictures!

Went for my Monday am appointment today. Baby is looking good. They are not certain of the weight---it gets harder to be accurate as you get closer, and this week the baby weighed less than two weeks ago---which we all know isn't true, but that means the measurement two weeks ago was more off than on. So, they did measure me today...and the baby hasn't budged! But---it will be budging soon, because next Wednesday is my due date and they do not want me going too far off my due date.

I am scheduled for an induction on Thursday the 21st at 6pm. That means if the baby is born after midnight, which I am assuming what will happen---then the baby will be born on the anniversary of my dad's death- which I think is great because it is that whole philosophy that out of death comes life. Who knows- the baby might come before that (which would be great) but if not, at least I can have that date and feel more like myself---living by a schedule. :)

The reason for the induction is that they do not want me going much past my due date due to my anti-S Antigen. They just feel there is a greater risk to the baby if we wait. They would have induced me this week but I was not even 1cm dilated, and if you are not dilated at all when they start to induce you, you are at a much higher risk for a C-Section, and they do not want to do a C-Section unless they absolutely have to. Amen to that!

That is the news. We got a great 3D of the baby today...once we scan that, we will post!

2/12/08 - Ok, here are the pics!!!!

Feel Like Complaining

I am in a foul mood. I had a horrible night last night---everything hurt, couldn't get comfortable, couldn't sleep, hurt to walk---the list could just go on. I am at work- I just want to be in bed. I have a headache. I can't wait for this day to be over.

Enough of my B*tching!

Sorry- I just needed to rant.

Survey

Welcome to the new edition of "Getting To Know Your Friends And/Or Blogging Buddies!" (Because if you don't know your friends then...well...something witty.)

Here are the rules.(1) Link to the person that tagged you.(2) Copy and paste on your blog.(3) Fill out.(4) Tag random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (I don't know how to Tag)

1. What time did you get up this morning? I got up many times this morning- but I finally stayed out of bed at 6:15am.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Charlie Wilson's War.
4. What is your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? I am too embarassed to say. Guess I should change what I have been eating for breakfast.
6. Favorite cuisine? Chinese
7. What are your middle names? Not telling
8. What food do you dislike most? Same as Melanie- Mushrooms and Seafood/Fish
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? None at the moment
10. What kind of car would you drive? I do drive...if I could drive any kind of car?? Probably a very safe one which is probably way too expensive.
11. Favorite sandwich? Anything that is made from real meat---I hate deli meat. I like a real turkey sandwich from meat carved off the bird. U get me?
12. What characteristic do you despise? Assumptions
13. Favorite item of clothing? Currently- I have one outfit that I could wear everyday--my gray striped outfit...very comfy. But usually- if it is comfy- it is my favorite.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? I would love to go to Ireland.
15. What color is your bathroom? Beige and Blue
16. Favorite brand of clothing? Don't have one.
17. Where would you retire? Not sure...I think I want to stay close to family.
18. What was your most memorable birthday? Don't have one.
19. Favorite sport to watch? I like to go to soccer games and hockey games---key word- GO. Not a fan of watching any sport on TV except for figure skating and gymnastics.
20. Furthest place you are sending this? Depends who reads my blog
21. When is your birthday? That sounds like identifying information...
22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning person
23. What is your shoe size? Not sure anymore. Currently the only shoes I am wearing are a full size bigger than normal.
24. Pets? Two wonderful dogs- Tugs and Tanner.
25. What did you want to be when you were big? An art teacher
26. How are you today? Very tired and achey.
27. What is your favorite lolly/sweet/chocolate? Chocoalte and peanut butter
28. What is a date on the calendar you are looking forward to? The one where I give birth!
29. Piercings? Ears
30. Place of birth? That also sounds like identifying information
31. Love someone/something so much it made you cry? Yes
32. Favorite Restaurant: I have many
33. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: I miss them all.
34. Favorite ice cream: I love all ice cream. But currently my favorite is one at Maggie Moo's- it has tons of chocolate and peanut butter in it.
35. What color is your bedroom: White
36. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Someone at work.
37. What do you do most often when you are bored? Fall asleep.
38. Bedtime: 10ish
39. What are you listening to right now: The hum of office equiptment.
40. What is your favorite color/s? I really like Wedgewood Blue.
41. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Only God knows the answer to that, and I am not going to try to figure it out.
42. What are you wearing? Beige pants and a black top.
43. What is the greatest place on earth? The comfort of home.
44. How would you react to a flat tire? I would say the f word probably 10 times and then curse because we don't have triple A.
45. How many people are you tagging: Nobody! Play along if you're feelin' it, and leave me a comment to let me know!

Less Than Two Weeks- Maybe? Hopefully!

So as of yesterday, I had two weeks to go until my due date. Time flies! I would really like to go early or on time but you never know when the little one will decide it is time. I keep having little things happen that are new, and Russ will ask with excitement, "Do you think it's time?" He was really cute last night. He asked me if I was ready, and I said, "I could wait a little while longer." (During the day, I am comfortable- so it is no biggie---I am just uncomfortable at night, and that is when I want to have the baby.) He says to me, "Well, I am ready to get on with the rest of my life!" It was really precious! He is so excited! I am too! I just have to stop thinking constantly about whether or not this pang or that pang mean labor; I fear that will jinx me! :)

Photos of the Baby's Room

So tonight, I went and picked up the matteress. I ironed the crib skirt, and we got everything else put away. We are pretty much set on the home front with things that we need, and I think we have everything that we can put away- away...so I think we are in good shape. I just need to get in good shape at work---I am in okay shape---but I think I need a few more days to feel like I am caught up and can breathe.

37 Weeks and 5 Days

Went to my appointment this am. Everything is good with the baby. My blood was a little too thin---was told to have a steak and eat more Vitamin C. So I guess I will eat the orange on my desk this afternoon for a snack. I had a steak sub for lunch...yummy. The nurse said that if I were to go into labor this afternoon, they didn't foresee any problems and wouldn't stop the labor.



The swelling in my feet have gone down which is great! I even lost half a pound! I really worked hard on Saturday morning, so my 2-3 hour rest on Saturday afternoono was well deserved and needed. My feet were sort of back to normal after that, and they haven't swelled up since.



Russ is getting very anxious. Every time I have a contraction, he asks, "Do you have any pain in your back?" He is so cute. I tell him, "No, it's just a Braxton Hicks---no real pain and it isn't lasting very long." He gets this look across his face that just says, "Bummer," all over it! He was asking me about who we should call when I go into labor. I don't know what I want. I guess it will all depend on how I feel. For those of you out there who have had babies---what did you do and what do you suggest? All I know is that I want people to meet the baby.

My Thoughts on Pregnancy

So my body has been changing a lot lately, and people are starting to ask me constantly, "How are you feeling?" I respond, "Huge." But I have to be honest- I have really loved being pregnant for the most part.



It hasn't been as bad as some people make it out to be. Maybe it is because I barely had morning sickness or heartburn or other horrific things that I can't spell or dare to say. :) I mean going to the doctor each week is a pain but at the same time as blessing because I get to see the little one each week! I have seen this person growing inside of me on a weekly basis...not just from the outside. I think my feet are a pain and the shots are a pain but in all reality- a quick shot feels much better to me than nagging heartburn or the constant feeling that I am going to vomit.

I really have enjoyed this experience. Last night when I just watched my belly swim from side to side---I have enjoyed the miracle.



Pregnancy has been wonderful.

I Have Been "Tagged"

Answer the question, "What do you expect from your blog?" and try to be as specific as possible. Avoid warm-fuzzy answers unless that really is your thing. Link back to the blog who tagged you so your readers can check others' answers.
Tag at least five bloggers with the same question.

What do I expect from my blog?

Well, I started this blog for one reason. I wanted to be able to share my latest news about my pregnancy with friends and family that live near and far. I have found though that blogging is rather complicated because you still can't always say what you want because you don't want to offend your readers or say too much because it might be too gross for others to hear. (Remember- this blog is about pregnancy and not all things to do with pregnancy are pretty!) So, blogging isn't always a completely truthful or open place unless you can get over yourself and just say it! But that isn't always easy...so I have concluded to keep my blog simple, truthful yet reserved (not like me if you know me), and to just have fun with updating everyone about Baby.

I must say though---I like the sense of community that blogging can create.

OMG! I am baking a BIG one! :)

So I went for my weekly appointment today. Two weeks ago, the baby was 6 pounds, 1 ounce. Today it weighed in...drumroll please....7 pounds, 15 ounces! I am almost 37 weeks...so hopefully it won't be much longer. The nurse wants me to go two more weeks...understandably so...but I am getting really uncomfy and tired and sore. But baby is healthy and active...and that is what is important!

Oh- and when I stood up after being called in for my appointment---I got a horrific bloody nose and got it all over me! Yuck!

And...my car did weird things to Russ on Saturday---it stopped working---gas gauge went to empty and everything went to manual. He is having it looked at today.

I also learned that I do carry the Strep virus, so I have to go to the hospital earlier than I wanted to so they can administor antibiotics by IV before the baby comes.

And....Steve bought Russ a flatscreen TV for a very early birthday gift...so that was a fun surprise this weekend for him!

Yippees!!!!

Yippee---Russ' has his last night at Irving tonight! No more of me being home alone. I am finding as the get further along, the more dependent I am on him...and it has been so hard to be home alone.

Yippee---I have been training a temp all day! Phew! That is a major stresser gone! Bye bye! :)

Yippee---Russ and I have finished all the baby classes we signed up for!

Those are my milestones of the day...

my only Nay---my feet look like giant clubs and my toes feel like sasuages!

Progression

Last night, I went to the chiropractor because my sciatica was all flared up. Well, the baby really responded to being in a different position. I could feel Baby moving all around- so much so that I had a lopsided belly for half the evening. It was quite funny...until Baby decided to move in such a position that it hurt to walk! There was a few hours where I was quite uncomfortable! I am in better shape this morning...but I can tell the lightening process has began. It can start as early as a month or just a few days before...so there is no telling!

I interviewed two temps yesterday...both were good. I have to decide today who I am going to pick. I have a pretty good idea.

Oh- ran out of oil this am! That was a fun time. I must get to work---lots to do and feeling overwhelmed...so I need to go get a handle on my day!

Time to Slow Down...

Phew! It was a long weekend- not just because of the holiday on Monday! It started with our labor class on Saturday. It was from 9-4:30 at Maine Medical Center. I was really pleased with class, and Russ was too. We really learned a lot, and the teacher made it very entertaining. That evening, we went out to dinner with Russ' mom, Aunt and Uncle and brother. We haven't seen his aunt and uncle since the Myrtle Beach Reunion back in 2005! So it has been a while.

Sunday was my shower. It was huge! There were 43 people there! My family did a great job putting it all together. I felt really rushed though because people wanted to leave early to go watch the football game, so I felt like I couldn 't really acknowledge people the way I wanted to. We got so many things- all fantastic! People really outdid themselves, and we are truly grateful.

On Monday, I went to the doctor- as usual. Carolyn came with me. We saw the best 3-D images yet! The baby's mouth is just precious! I can't wait for everyone else to see and meet the little one! The baby is still doing well and hasn't hit any bumps in the road. Not sure of the weight- they checked that last week.

So- as of today- only 30 days to go! I am interviewing someone else today for a temp position. Please pray that it goes well. I really need to get someone in here ASAP!

PS Why Didn't I Do It Sooner?

I must say though---I think I was pretty smart about my clothes buying. I haven't over bought but I think where I went wrong was buying all the pants I thought I needed right away. You just don't know how your belly will take shape. I hope that makes sense.

Now bras on the other hand---that is just never easy! UGH!

Why Didn't I Do It Sooner?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought, "I should see if I can find some sales to save some money on maternity clothes." I found dress pants at Lane Bryant for $20 a piece---they had only half panels that are more like giant, hard elastic bands. I figured they would be fine. Little did I know! I was so uncomfortable yesterday at work! I had this conversation with myself:

"If you aren't comfortable, you should go buy new pants."
"But it doesn't make sense to spend more money when you are going to have the baby in such a short amount of time."
"Does it really matter? You need to be comfortable. You have been avoiding wearing these pants because you are so uncomfortable in them."
"I know but I just hate to buy something to only have them useful for 5 weeks!"
"So what?! You are constantly pulling them up and then struggle to be comfortable because they immediately fall back down, and to top it all off, the band pushes your undies down, and you always feel like you need to yank everything back."
"You're right. I am going to go buy new pants!"

So I went out last night and bought a new pair of pants. I should have down it sooner. I am much more comfortable today. So my advice---don't buy all your clothes at once because you aren't doing yourself or your budget a favor!

Feeling the Pressure

I am overwhelmed- uttlerly and completely! I need to prepare for a temp to come in, train and finish all of my work...all without knowing when the little one really will be ready. That is hard. I need to feel prepared even though I am in such a transition. I am worried that the temp will do better than me---or doing worse than me...I am just in a state of stress. I haven't felt good all week. I keep trying to tell myself that there is nothing I can do but try my best and let be what will be. I know I can't control when the baby comes, but I feel like I should be able to control everything else to some extent.

ICK. I just feel ICKY!

Girlfriends

When I was younger, I always struggled with the concept that it was better to have a few close friends than to be the most popular girl, but as I got older, I began to understand this concept. Over the past few years, my circle has become more solidified and more tight knit, and I can't be more grateful.

This past weekend, my girlfriends threw me a surprise baby shower that was just so special to me. It was absolutely perfect! I can't express how much I loved it or appreciated it. It was just so nice to spend the afternoon with them and laugh and share. I truly am happy to have them in my life, and I am so grateful for them. Girls, if you are reading this---I am so blessed to have you in my life, and I appreciate you. Thank you.