Life is About Holding On and Letting Go

If you have ever gotten an email from me, you would know that the theme of this post is the tagline at the end of my emails. But I have to tell you, that tagline is my worst enemy. The past last year has been incredibly hard for me. About a month ago, after having a peaceful drive home, I walked into the door of the house. The moment my hand hit the doorknob, instant stress and anxiety and anger erupted inside of me. Truth is, I would wake up that way too. Even when the boys were just acting like two and four year olds, I had no patience and would immediately get upset with them. As a parent, I am their biggest advocate but unfortunately, I was becoming their worst too. Screaming and getting angry isn't healthy or an environment anyone deserves to be in or around. I haven't been able to let go of the type A control freak that I am. I would see Aiden struggling, and I would and do take it upon myself to feel as though it is my fault and that I am not doing enough for him. I would see Elijah not mimicking or pointing to things he would want to do or have me look at. Again, I would feel as though I did something to make him behind. Again, holding onto guilt and feelings of being a failure. Here is my point, I need to find the balance and come to terms with how things are and not get so uptight about the snail pace of change. In reality though, we are moving at a rapid pace in this house, and the boys are changing and growing at a rapid rate. Elijah is now mimicking and repeating words. He is starting to make more and more sense. Aiden has actually been playing! PLAYING! This is a huge step for him!!!

The point is, I need to hold onto these moments and let go of those moments that I want to scream and count to 10, because those moments shall pass way too quickly.