Looking Back and Looking Forward

Easter day- We had a great morning, and we were only off by our regular schedule by half an hour. (Aiden thrives on schedule.) All of the running around at Aunt KK's and Uncle Tim's exhausted Aiden, and he was immediately asleep in the car. He woke up when we pulled into the driveway, and he wouldn't go back to sleep. He kept getting out of bed. He pooped twice, had to pee, etc. He threw such a fit that he screamed for 20 minutes and foamed at the mouth! Russ and I felt like failures. Aiden is getting more and more frustrated. We had been celebrating all of his accomplishments, but in reality, his accomplishments in speech and some cognitive areas are way behind. He is very smart- don't get me wrong, but he has just started building sentences and the phrases, "I love you" and "good night" were the only phrases for months.

On Monday am, we decided we had really had enough of Aiden's physical abuse towards his brother. Eli is a scratching post for Aiden. We had enough of the fits. I had emailed Aiden's previous case manager at Child Development Services a week prior without hearing anything back. (Turns out he doesn't work there anymore.) If you recall, he didn't qualify for services because he just squeaked by. If you don't remember, you can read all about it here
. And the results of his day here. I called his pediatrician and asked them for help. I asked for speech referrals and behavior specialist referrals. They called CDS for me, and we learned that the behavior specialists around us are all booked a year out! Nuts, huh?! Well, the past few weeks have concluded in three up-coming appointments, and we will learn if he qualifies for anything. If not, we will be on our own and through private insurance (which doesn't cover most of the services we are looking to get for Aiden). I also learned that CDS doesn't provide services to kiddos during the summer unless they have already had services and shown that they regress. So...no matter what- we will be putting Aiden in speech therapy for the summer.

Ironically enough, Aiden started building sentences last week and has been putting more words together- regardless, he will show that he is behind---but again, I am afraid of him just squeaking by...

It has been hard for me to blog about this. Russ and I have tried so hard to work with Aiden, and we are constantly on him with his behavior. We feel like it is our fault that nothing motivates him and that he is so carefree. Everything just rolls off of that kid, and negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement, etc just hasn't worked. We are frustrated...we wonder what we have done wrong. You might say we didn't, and deep down we know that...but honestly, we feel the way we do because we love him and want the best for him. We feel like we lacked in something in raising him...we wonder...we worry...we are parents.