To say that I have avoided this blog is an understatement. There has been lots of drama that would make for good reading but not really appropriate for me to publish. But there have been new things going on in my life that I do feel I need to put out there...for the sake of my own sanity and maybe in the hopes of connecting with other parents in a similar situation of our family.
As we approach the first month anniversary, I am reflecting back on how it all started...I was at a scrapbooking weekend. Russ had taken the night off and our friend was watching the boys. She called to say that Aiden was vomiting all over the place. Russ went to go get him.
Fast forward two weeks later when he was at his doctor for his med check-up. (Kids with ADHD get checked every few months because of the type of medications they are on, if you choose to medicate.) She stated that he had lost weight which isn't good, so we implemented a supervised lunch in one of his classrooms at school to make sure he was eating everything. He was eating everything.
Then Aiden started wetting the bed every, SINGLE, night. More like soaking the bed. This was very unlike him. We thought something was bothering him so we keep pressing him and asking him if anything was bothering him. He told us that a boy on his bus was hitting him. (They have assigned seats on their bus.) I proceeded to go to his bus stop with him since he usually gets on at his daycare. I spoke to the bus driver, and she moved his seat. We thought the problem was resolved. Nope...still peeing his bed every night and getting up at least once to also go the bathroom. I emailed his teachers asking if they had seen any changes. They hadn't.
Then on Sunday, March 22nd, Aiden got up to go the bathroom while I was still up. Then he came down at 2am and told me he soaked his bed. He sleeps on the top bunk and I am height deprived. I told him that we would change his bed in the am and he could sleep on the couch. I helped him clean up and change. I tucked him in on the couch. He had seen me throw his wet pajamas in the tub to deal with in the am. I tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't turn my head off. I thought of my brother telling me how he figured out that he was diabetic. He was wetting his bed as a grown man. He couldn't stop drinking water. I thought about how Aiden was drinking non-stop that day. I kept saying to myself- no, he can't have it. He can't! He must have an UTI without any pain.
That morning, we rushed out of the house to get him to daycare. I came home, got ready to shower when I found the pajamas I put Aiden in at 2am. They were also soaked. He didn't tell me about peeing himself again. I took my shower, cleaned everything up and waited to call the doctor. I called my brother to tell him what I thought. He told me that he was probably fine. (He later told me that he was just saying that to keep me calm.) I called the doctor, told them what I was seeing and they had us come right in- they didn't want to wait until late day.
With just a simple urine sample, Aiden had a blood sugar level of 1,000! I had to take him to the ER immediately. That is when we learned that Aiden had type 1 diabetes.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Friday, February 7, 2014
Go Red!
To experience the birth of your child and to feel your baby’s soft skin- there is nothing like that. To go through the process of buying your first home- to walk down the aisle with your love waiting to say I do…. Those experiences are truly all wonderful but can be quickly snatched away from you- I know because I, at 27 years old, had a stroke.
I woke up- having a normal kind of day- except that I had the day off due to the President’s day holiday. Mid-morning, I took my shower, and when I got out, I felt off balance. I had just gotten over a head cold, so I wasn’t too concerned- I was thinking it might be a bit of vertigo. I lay down on the couch to watch TV and fell asleep- 10 in the morning---after a full night’s sleep. I woke about an hour later with a pounding headache. I got up, took some ibuprofen and ended up falling back asleep. My friend called- waking me up-, saying that she was outside and ready to go to lunch. I told her I would be right out. It took me ten minutes to get the puppy in his crate, put on some jeans, and grab my coat. I couldn’t wake up. In the car with my friend, I was aware of how my tongue moved in my mouth---most of us are not aware of our tongue moving across our palette---but I could feel it. My friend started backing up, and I couldn’t take it- the vertigo made me feel horrible. I asked her to go grab us lunch and bring it back.
As I was walking back in the house, my mother came home- apparently I called her but don’t really remember. She saw me, and said, “Denise, you are gray. Your mouth is off. I think you have had a stroke. You need to call an ambulance.” I laughed at her. I said, “Mom, I didn’t have a stroke.” She said, “Go look at your face.” I did. My mouth was cocked. I looked sick. I felt lethargic. I said, “Mom, I’ll go to the hospital, but I won’t take an ambulance!” I called my friend, she came and picked me up, and we drove off to the hospital.
At this point, it was after 12:30---I had gotten out of the shower around 9:30-10am. I tell you this because time is of the essence when you have had a stroke. They rushed me right in…my mouth was giving them concern. They took blood and asked me multiple questions. They repeatedly asked me if I smoked. I kept saying, “No.” They asked if I was on any drugs or prescriptions. My response was just my birth control pills. All I could tell them was that I didn’t feel right, my mouth was crooked, and that I was exhausted. I had an echocardiogram, and upon review, they picked up my Patent Forman Ovalue (PFO).
Quick heart history and lesson: When I was born, I had two holes in my heart. Your heart is about the size of a fifty cent piece when you are born. One hole was the size of a dime- it was a VSD- a ventricle septial defect) and the other was much smaller. At six weeks old, I had open heart surgery, and had my VSD repaired. The other hole was a PFO, a patent forman ovale. My whole life I was told this was just a miscommunication and wouldn’t give me any problems. A PFO is the hole in every baby’s heart while in the womb—it gets oxygenated blood to the brain, however, it usually closes naturally in most.
The hospital didn’t find this history of my PFO and birth control prescription a bad mix—why would they? It is a fact that women who take even a low-estrogen birth control pill may be twice as likely to have a stroke than those who don’t and the risk may increase if other risk factors like my PFO are present. In the doctor’s eyes, I was a normal 27 year old with no major health problems. I was too young to have a stroke. Ironically, a year and 4 days previous, linebacker, Tedy Bruschi of the New England Patriots, had also suffered a stroke related to a PFO. Besides, stereotypically, I could speak, raise my arms and walk. I didn’t fit the age old definition of stroke. I was told I had a virus, and I was sent home without answers and frustrated.
Once I got home, I was exhausted. I felt like I had the fatigue of when you the flu. I went to bed with a typical busy house going on around me. My family woke me up a few hours later to eat and half an hour later, at 8:30, I was back in bed and slept until the next morning.
I woke up feeling fine, but after moving around a bit, I started to feel like I was overcoming the flu again. I decided to follow-up with my primary care physician. He didn’t think I had stroke either but with my heart history, he decided to schedule me an MRI. I was thankful that he took me more seriously and had scheduled me a test that would give me more answers. I knew something was wrong with me. That was Tuesday, my appointment was for Friday. Throughout the week, I drove, went to work (many days falling asleep at my desk and going home early.)
After my MRI on that Friday, I learned two things: my husband and I were under contract with our first house and that I had a stroke. I had to go back to the hospital. After multiple tests, and many days in the hospital, I met with my cardiologist. He told me, “Denise, you will not be able to have children because of the blood thinners we need to put you on. These medications can cause harm to the fetus. You will need to be on them for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.” That was the one thing that threw me---I could deal with a stroke---I could deal with that. I looked at the doctor and said, “That ruins my plans. My plan was to get married, then get a house, and then have babies. This will not stop me.”
Using the internet, I discovered that there was a device on trial called a CardioSeal Occular Device. I asked my doctors if I could have it, and I got it! I was able to get my heart fixed. I was a lucky one. There is an estimated 25% of people who are walking around unaware that there is a hole in their heart.
My name is Denise, I am 35, I am married, own a home and have two adorable, funny little boys- Aiden and Elijah.
After my stroke, I have learned how my story has changed others ideas about stroke. My pharmacist- who couldn’t comprehend why a 27 year old needed blood thinners and heart meds. My dear friend, a paramedic, said to me, “Denise, my co-workers and I would complain every time we got calls for twenty-somethings with chest pain. You taught me that anyone can have a stroke or heart attack. You don’t need to be a fifty-something. You helped me become a better paramedic.” Every February, I put my story on FaceBook, and this past summer, an old friend, reached out through FaceBook, to me ask me about symptoms she was having as they were similar to mine. People- please don’t FaceBook me or your friends asking about possible symptoms- if so, you have missed my point.
My point here today is to NOT dismiss symptoms or any feelings you may have about your health. Call 9-1-1. You are not bothering them. It is their job. It is your first line of defense. They start treating you once they are on the scene.
It is important to know the signs of a stroke. They are:
- Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or legs, especially on one side of the body
- Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
- Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
- Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
- Sudden, severe headache with no known cause
If my mother didn’t know the signs, she probably wouldn’t have insisted that I go to the hospital. I couldn’t smile, but today I can. I stuck to my instincts---even if I was a bit stubborn about it at first. I knew that I was not myself, and that I didn’t have the flu. I insisted that something was not right. Don’t presume. Know that any of us can have a stroke.
I woke up- having a normal kind of day- except that I had the day off due to the President’s day holiday. Mid-morning, I took my shower, and when I got out, I felt off balance. I had just gotten over a head cold, so I wasn’t too concerned- I was thinking it might be a bit of vertigo. I lay down on the couch to watch TV and fell asleep- 10 in the morning---after a full night’s sleep. I woke about an hour later with a pounding headache. I got up, took some ibuprofen and ended up falling back asleep. My friend called- waking me up-, saying that she was outside and ready to go to lunch. I told her I would be right out. It took me ten minutes to get the puppy in his crate, put on some jeans, and grab my coat. I couldn’t wake up. In the car with my friend, I was aware of how my tongue moved in my mouth---most of us are not aware of our tongue moving across our palette---but I could feel it. My friend started backing up, and I couldn’t take it- the vertigo made me feel horrible. I asked her to go grab us lunch and bring it back.
As I was walking back in the house, my mother came home- apparently I called her but don’t really remember. She saw me, and said, “Denise, you are gray. Your mouth is off. I think you have had a stroke. You need to call an ambulance.” I laughed at her. I said, “Mom, I didn’t have a stroke.” She said, “Go look at your face.” I did. My mouth was cocked. I looked sick. I felt lethargic. I said, “Mom, I’ll go to the hospital, but I won’t take an ambulance!” I called my friend, she came and picked me up, and we drove off to the hospital.
At this point, it was after 12:30---I had gotten out of the shower around 9:30-10am. I tell you this because time is of the essence when you have had a stroke. They rushed me right in…my mouth was giving them concern. They took blood and asked me multiple questions. They repeatedly asked me if I smoked. I kept saying, “No.” They asked if I was on any drugs or prescriptions. My response was just my birth control pills. All I could tell them was that I didn’t feel right, my mouth was crooked, and that I was exhausted. I had an echocardiogram, and upon review, they picked up my Patent Forman Ovalue (PFO).
Quick heart history and lesson: When I was born, I had two holes in my heart. Your heart is about the size of a fifty cent piece when you are born. One hole was the size of a dime- it was a VSD- a ventricle septial defect) and the other was much smaller. At six weeks old, I had open heart surgery, and had my VSD repaired. The other hole was a PFO, a patent forman ovale. My whole life I was told this was just a miscommunication and wouldn’t give me any problems. A PFO is the hole in every baby’s heart while in the womb—it gets oxygenated blood to the brain, however, it usually closes naturally in most.
The hospital didn’t find this history of my PFO and birth control prescription a bad mix—why would they? It is a fact that women who take even a low-estrogen birth control pill may be twice as likely to have a stroke than those who don’t and the risk may increase if other risk factors like my PFO are present. In the doctor’s eyes, I was a normal 27 year old with no major health problems. I was too young to have a stroke. Ironically, a year and 4 days previous, linebacker, Tedy Bruschi of the New England Patriots, had also suffered a stroke related to a PFO. Besides, stereotypically, I could speak, raise my arms and walk. I didn’t fit the age old definition of stroke. I was told I had a virus, and I was sent home without answers and frustrated.
Once I got home, I was exhausted. I felt like I had the fatigue of when you the flu. I went to bed with a typical busy house going on around me. My family woke me up a few hours later to eat and half an hour later, at 8:30, I was back in bed and slept until the next morning.
I woke up feeling fine, but after moving around a bit, I started to feel like I was overcoming the flu again. I decided to follow-up with my primary care physician. He didn’t think I had stroke either but with my heart history, he decided to schedule me an MRI. I was thankful that he took me more seriously and had scheduled me a test that would give me more answers. I knew something was wrong with me. That was Tuesday, my appointment was for Friday. Throughout the week, I drove, went to work (many days falling asleep at my desk and going home early.)
After my MRI on that Friday, I learned two things: my husband and I were under contract with our first house and that I had a stroke. I had to go back to the hospital. After multiple tests, and many days in the hospital, I met with my cardiologist. He told me, “Denise, you will not be able to have children because of the blood thinners we need to put you on. These medications can cause harm to the fetus. You will need to be on them for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.” That was the one thing that threw me---I could deal with a stroke---I could deal with that. I looked at the doctor and said, “That ruins my plans. My plan was to get married, then get a house, and then have babies. This will not stop me.”
Using the internet, I discovered that there was a device on trial called a CardioSeal Occular Device. I asked my doctors if I could have it, and I got it! I was able to get my heart fixed. I was a lucky one. There is an estimated 25% of people who are walking around unaware that there is a hole in their heart.
My name is Denise, I am 35, I am married, own a home and have two adorable, funny little boys- Aiden and Elijah.
After my stroke, I have learned how my story has changed others ideas about stroke. My pharmacist- who couldn’t comprehend why a 27 year old needed blood thinners and heart meds. My dear friend, a paramedic, said to me, “Denise, my co-workers and I would complain every time we got calls for twenty-somethings with chest pain. You taught me that anyone can have a stroke or heart attack. You don’t need to be a fifty-something. You helped me become a better paramedic.” Every February, I put my story on FaceBook, and this past summer, an old friend, reached out through FaceBook, to me ask me about symptoms she was having as they were similar to mine. People- please don’t FaceBook me or your friends asking about possible symptoms- if so, you have missed my point.
My point here today is to NOT dismiss symptoms or any feelings you may have about your health. Call 9-1-1. You are not bothering them. It is their job. It is your first line of defense. They start treating you once they are on the scene.
It is important to know the signs of a stroke. They are:
- Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or legs, especially on one side of the body
- Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
- Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
- Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
- Sudden, severe headache with no known cause
If my mother didn’t know the signs, she probably wouldn’t have insisted that I go to the hospital. I couldn’t smile, but today I can. I stuck to my instincts---even if I was a bit stubborn about it at first. I knew that I was not myself, and that I didn’t have the flu. I insisted that something was not right. Don’t presume. Know that any of us can have a stroke.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Boys, Daddy and I Apologize...
Dear Aiden and Eli,
Daddy and I need to apologize. Being parents is hard. In this case, we apologize for lying to you. We felt with you boys being three and five, you don't quite need to learn about death yet. Your fish, Junk, was very sick, which we told you about. His belly was very, very bloated and his scales were all raised up. In doing research, we discovered that we wouldn't be able to help Junk. His bacterial infection had gone too far. We decided to use the movie Nemo to help us in avoiding the discussion about death. We took Junk out of his tank, into a small bowl with his water so you could say goodbye. We told you that we were going to put him in the toliet so that he could be with his family, just like in Nemo. That all things flow back to the ocean. This is where we lied. He didn't go back to the ocean. We didn't want him to suffer any longer, and we didn't know how else to make it easier on you boys (and us).
We are very sorry.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
(Linking up today at Pour Your Heart Out: http://thingsicantsay.com/2013/07/pour-your-heart-out-no-place-like-home.html)
Daddy and I need to apologize. Being parents is hard. In this case, we apologize for lying to you. We felt with you boys being three and five, you don't quite need to learn about death yet. Your fish, Junk, was very sick, which we told you about. His belly was very, very bloated and his scales were all raised up. In doing research, we discovered that we wouldn't be able to help Junk. His bacterial infection had gone too far. We decided to use the movie Nemo to help us in avoiding the discussion about death. We took Junk out of his tank, into a small bowl with his water so you could say goodbye. We told you that we were going to put him in the toliet so that he could be with his family, just like in Nemo. That all things flow back to the ocean. This is where we lied. He didn't go back to the ocean. We didn't want him to suffer any longer, and we didn't know how else to make it easier on you boys (and us).
We are very sorry.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
(Linking up today at Pour Your Heart Out: http://thingsicantsay.com/2013/07/pour-your-heart-out-no-place-like-home.html)
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Rewards
I have often given the same response when people ask me if it is rewarding to be a parent. My response is that when you get pregnant, you don't know what kind of child you will have. I even go to the extremes of saying, "You don't know if you are going to have a serial killer or the next president." My point is that as much as you think you can influence your child, etc., there are still things you can't control like autism, ADHD, other behavioral things, etc. I do also say that while some children seem to brighten your day over and over with one thing or another, you can also have a child that can be hard. Not just hard to put down but give you as a parent many obstacles. Aiden is that child.
I love him. I love him with all of my heart. Aiden has to hug and kiss on his terms. His bouts of affection are rare. When I get them, I cherish them. His development delays made some days very trying. This morning, it was a 30 minute battle to get him to pick up his pile of legos. Saturday, it took two hours.
My point is- as a parent, the rewards are often small moments that brighten your heart. They might not be daily but I can tell you this- I hold onto them.
Here is something that I am very proud of and makes me smile and feel like I have been rewarded.
Aiden's recent drawing.
I love him. I love him with all of my heart. Aiden has to hug and kiss on his terms. His bouts of affection are rare. When I get them, I cherish them. His development delays made some days very trying. This morning, it was a 30 minute battle to get him to pick up his pile of legos. Saturday, it took two hours.
My point is- as a parent, the rewards are often small moments that brighten your heart. They might not be daily but I can tell you this- I hold onto them.
Here is something that I am very proud of and makes me smile and feel like I have been rewarded.
Aiden's recent drawing.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Happy Father's Day 2013
It has been forever since I posted!
I would like to post my annual video that I make for my wonderful husband and father to our children. Please watch it!
I would like to post my annual video that I make for my wonderful husband and father to our children. Please watch it!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Eli's Speech Journey
I could type for days about how both of my children have had speech delays and how much work and devotion it is to get words to come out. But sometimes, your kids surprise you!
Elijah loves Signing Time! Plus, he loves music. One thing I have learned with all of my therapy sessions with Eli is that using music can significantly help a child hold onto words.
Eli is now piecing two to three words together. He is mostly putting things like together, "Daddy got it." We are working on replacing it with the noun, but it makes my heart sing when a new word is said or when he started doing this:
He loves Colors of the Rainbow by Rachel Coleman in The Signing Time series. Here he is saying all of the colors of the rainbow. I rather talk about his accomplishments today...because I think it is a big deal!!! Good job, little man! Good job!!!
xoxox
Elijah loves Signing Time! Plus, he loves music. One thing I have learned with all of my therapy sessions with Eli is that using music can significantly help a child hold onto words.
Eli is now piecing two to three words together. He is mostly putting things like together, "Daddy got it." We are working on replacing it with the noun, but it makes my heart sing when a new word is said or when he started doing this:
xoxox
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Aiden's Drawing!!!
Aiden has been working in with his OT on mimicking lines to create a drawing. See his success!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Empathy
em·pa·thy
[em-puh-thee] Show IPA
noun
1.
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
Last week, when we were leaving my mother's house, I asked Russ if we could go to the cemetery to see my father's headstone. We had the dogs with us, and when they are in the car, they like to roam all over the van. It was easier to let them sit in the front passenger seat rather than get stressed about them roaming all over the car. I was sitting in the middle row of the van with Elijah. When we got to the cemetery, everyone stayed in the car except for me. My father is buried next to my memere and pepere, and when I got to their headstones, I started picking the weeds that had surrounded all the dead flowers. With the current heat wave, the flowers didn't stand a chance. So I was there for a few minutes picking the weeds, and I went back to the car to get an empty travelers coffee cup. I got some water, and watered the flowers. When I went back to the van and got buckled in, my husband told me that Aiden (4 years old) was asking why were here, etc. He explained to him that the cemetery is a place to remember those that have gone to heaven. Aiden proceeded to tell me, "Momma, I don't like this place." I responded, "Me too buddy, me too." After which, I choked up.
You see- I am believe my dad is with me every day and surrounds me and he really isn't at the cemetery. But something about this visit and Aiden's word, that got me all choked up. I started to cry. I was quiet about it but I was certainly crying a bit. Elijah just quietly reached over to me and held my hand. No words, just held my hand.
Folks, it was in that quiet moment that my heart smiled. My son loves me, and in his gentle gesture, I was also encouraged. We have taught my boy empathy. What a sweet little boy.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Happy Father's Day!
I haven't posted in a while, and I will, I promise. I have lots to tell about our little guys. But- I wanted to share my annual present to Russ for Father's Day. I started it the first year Aiden was born, and now, I kind of have to do them. :-) This year was the least fancy due to some things going on but I still like how it came out. There is sound to this but it is somewhat quiet music- so please turn up the speakers! :-)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Happenings...
So many things, so little time...
Russ has been so busy with outside projects that I have just been plugging away and dinner and bath time and then doing household stuff that blogging and trying to sell Discovery Toys has taken a back seat.
Here is what Russ has been up to:
And the completed fence (I have since cleaned up the debris from the project)...
And the second project- a swing set! We asked family members to give money in lieu of birthday presents since the boys have birthdays only a few months after Christmas. With the money given, we were able to get a good size swing set!
We got lots of help from Aiden...
Lots of quality control from Eli...
And a lot of smiles when the project was finished! Way to go Daddy on all the projects you did for our family!!!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Life is About Holding On and Letting Go
If you have ever gotten an email from me, you would know that the theme of this post is the tagline at the end of my emails. But I have to tell you, that tagline is my worst enemy. The past last year has been incredibly hard for me. About a month ago, after having a peaceful drive home, I walked into the door of the house. The moment my hand hit the doorknob, instant stress and anxiety and anger erupted inside of me. Truth is, I would wake up that way too. Even when the boys were just acting like two and four year olds, I had no patience and would immediately get upset with them. As a parent, I am their biggest advocate but unfortunately, I was becoming their worst too. Screaming and getting angry isn't healthy or an environment anyone deserves to be in or around. I haven't been able to let go of the type A control freak that I am. I would see Aiden struggling, and I would and do take it upon myself to feel as though it is my fault and that I am not doing enough for him. I would see Elijah not mimicking or pointing to things he would want to do or have me look at. Again, I would feel as though I did something to make him behind. Again, holding onto guilt and feelings of being a failure.
Here is my point, I need to find the balance and come to terms with how things are and not get so uptight about the snail pace of change. In reality though, we are moving at a rapid pace in this house, and the boys are changing and growing at a rapid rate. Elijah is now mimicking and repeating words. He is starting to make more and more sense. Aiden has actually been playing! PLAYING! This is a huge step for him!!!
The point is, I need to hold onto these moments and let go of those moments that I want to scream and count to 10, because those moments shall pass way too quickly.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Toy Story Galore!
This was the first year that we did a little kiddo party. I didn't want to go overboard but more to have a good time with all of the kiddos. But my kids, of course, since they had just started daycare, got a nice round of ear infections. So, I had asked folks if we could change the day since we had fevers, runny noses and ickiness. We then had the family birthday party the following weekend. Both kids were still on antibiotics and had runny noses. Eli was actually somewhat miserable but I wasn't going to cancel. We moved ahead. It was fun to get all of the family together, and this year actually a lot of folks missing. We still had 20 people though and had five missing.
Look at Aiden's face! He was so excited for his cake!
Eli dove head first right into his cupcake!
I should mention that in addition to the kids parties, we give each kid a cake on their actual birthday too!
The last string of events was the kid party and that evening the kid's uncle and his girlfriend came over. For the privacy of the other kiddos, I am going to post the decor.
Here is Eli the morning of his birthday! I absolutely adore this photo!!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
The Circle of Life
I don't often post much about family dynamics outside my immediate family. My mom, aka Memere, has been watching Aiden since he was a year old starting with two days a week. Right before Eli was born, she started watching him full time. That was over two years ago. Last week was my mom's last week watching the boys full time. I am grateful for the time she has given them. I am grateful for what she has given us. The time had come, quite some time ago, that it was time for the boys to start going to a different daycare.
Today was the first day of their new daycare. We are in the "honeymoon phase." They had a great day. They were happy to see us leave. Aiden quickly shooed us out the door. I cried as I drove down the street. There is a huge amount of comfort when your children are with your family, and it is going to take some time for me to have trust and faith. I am a control freak, and I know this is what is best, and it is the best, but I guess you could say I don't have blind faith right now.
Aiden's birthday was the other day. He turned FOUR! He is getting so big! I can't believe I have a four year old. He is growing so quickly, and he is making so much progress. He is in a few phases of asking where things are as well as saying everything is, "Mine!" Yet, at the same time, he will randomly come up to us and say he loves us and will just randomly say, "truck and buses." I think he is onto the next catch phrase to replace more inappropriate phases.
The day after Aiden's birthday was the six year anniversary of my stroke. I have had a lot of highs related to my stroke this month as it is Go Red month with the American Heart Association. I spoke at two events and received wonderful feedback at both. At one, I spoke at length with a doctor who sought me out and wanted to know more about my story. He wanted to learn from my stroke. If you know my story, that is a big deal! At another event, I had a lady give me a bouquet of flowers she won in a raffle telling me how grateful she was that I shared my story. She was in tears, and she brought me to tears. I felt very proud to be able to share my story!
Tomorrow is my dad's ten year anniversary of his passing. For years, I actually would go throughout the day and not even notice it was the anniversary because I started to remember him not just by the date of his death but it was more about the random things that happened that would help me remember him or feel him- sometimes a saying or like when I saw an older man wearing a ball cap right on top of his head. But something about it being ten years is making it so hard. I tear up whenever I think about it. So tomorrow, I will not be going to his headstone because he won't be there- he will be in my kitchen with me as I finish my kitchen remodel listening to the AM Radio and trying to whistle.
And lastly, in less than two week, my baby is turning two. TWO. He is currently cutting his molars, telling me that sheep say, "Baa," and nodding his head and appropriately saying yes! Today he told me that he had fun at daycare.
This month so many events hold major significance in my life. I have to keep holding onto the thought that with death comes life and with change good things can come.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Funny-isms
Russ was coming home and surprised Aiden with a choice- what do you want at McDonalds? Aiden replied, "Cheeseburger King.". After a few goings back and forth, Russ said, "Do you mean Burger King?". "Yes, Daddy, Cheeseburger King."
A few days ago, I went to visit a friend, and I got stuck in her driveway. I was VERY frustrated. From the backseat I hear, "Oh, come on!"
I am no longer Mommy. I am Mommy Denicey. Russ is no longer Daddy Russell, he is Daddy Russell-e. Yes, folks, he was Daddy Russell according to Aiden.
A few days ago, I went to visit a friend, and I got stuck in her driveway. I was VERY frustrated. From the backseat I hear, "Oh, come on!"
I am no longer Mommy. I am Mommy Denicey. Russ is no longer Daddy Russell, he is Daddy Russell-e. Yes, folks, he was Daddy Russell according to Aiden.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Chaos
I have been missing for a while now...lots going on with both boys. But I had to share this video.
There are many exciting things for us on this video:
The growth of Aiden's language
The growth of Aiden's positive interaction with Elijah
Aiden's ability to mimic our positive language and praise
Plus how cute it is and how funny it is!!!
This was and is a huge deal for us.
We have been working really, really hard with Aiden's school and the outside class I have been taking to work on Aiden's behavior. We have also started Elijah's weekly therapy as well for his speech and developmental delays.
When we have moments like the one we posted, it reminds us that hard work does indeed pay off.
There are many exciting things for us on this video:
The growth of Aiden's language
The growth of Aiden's positive interaction with Elijah
Aiden's ability to mimic our positive language and praise
Plus how cute it is and how funny it is!!!
This was and is a huge deal for us.
We have been working really, really hard with Aiden's school and the outside class I have been taking to work on Aiden's behavior. We have also started Elijah's weekly therapy as well for his speech and developmental delays.
When we have moments like the one we posted, it reminds us that hard work does indeed pay off.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Speech
Speech is more than just saying words. It is having the tongue in the right spot, the brain triggering so many things to do, the practice, the mimicking, and so on.
Eli has qualified for speech. But you say- he is not even two? Well, folks, my son doesn't even point or try to mimic what he wants or tries to tell us. He just cries and cries and cries.
He hears us, and he can easily go get a toy and bring it to us or put a toy in this toy chest when we ask him to pick up, but he can't point and even grunt.
We will be finding out more in the next few weeks, but I am just thankful that we can get started a bit sooner with Eli's speech.
Eli has qualified for speech. But you say- he is not even two? Well, folks, my son doesn't even point or try to mimic what he wants or tries to tell us. He just cries and cries and cries.
He hears us, and he can easily go get a toy and bring it to us or put a toy in this toy chest when we ask him to pick up, but he can't point and even grunt.
We will be finding out more in the next few weeks, but I am just thankful that we can get started a bit sooner with Eli's speech.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Looks Like Holland
Last week, we had Aiden's open house at pre-school. It was a great experience. We learned a lot. Aiden is in the class with kids that have Autism, have seziures, and have lots of needs. Many of our friends, seem to think he just has a speech issue. It goes beyond it, and it is hard to understand unless you live with us and see him day in and day out. We got home that evening and just shook our heads asking each other, "What is it about our brains and our DNA that didn't mesh? Why didn't we see this coming?"
Fast forward to this week. I took Elijah to his 18 month check-up. It came to the list of questions of does he do this, does he do that. The list of broad, standardized questions that make you start comparing your child to the rest... Elijah only says a few words: dog, banana, stuck, ball, read. He doesn't even address us as momma and dadda. Aiden didn't either.
You start comparing, taking notes...Then we did it again. We asked each other, " What is it about our brains and our DNA that didn't mesh? Why didn't we see this coming?"
So I did as the pediatrician recommended. I called my case worker at CDS. She said, "Oh- you really are taking that trip to Holland." She then told me about this following poem:
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
So, on this journey with Elijah, we will be taking a trip to Holland too! It might be a permanent trip or just a temporary trip, but we will have to not think about our DNA and think about what we can do with Elijah and how we can make the best stay in Holland for him as possible.
Are you and your family in Holland right now? Is it a permanent trip or temporary? How does this poem relate to your family?
Fast forward to this week. I took Elijah to his 18 month check-up. It came to the list of questions of does he do this, does he do that. The list of broad, standardized questions that make you start comparing your child to the rest... Elijah only says a few words: dog, banana, stuck, ball, read. He doesn't even address us as momma and dadda. Aiden didn't either.
You start comparing, taking notes...Then we did it again. We asked each other, " What is it about our brains and our DNA that didn't mesh? Why didn't we see this coming?"
So I did as the pediatrician recommended. I called my case worker at CDS. She said, "Oh- you really are taking that trip to Holland." She then told me about this following poem:
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
So, on this journey with Elijah, we will be taking a trip to Holland too! It might be a permanent trip or just a temporary trip, but we will have to not think about our DNA and think about what we can do with Elijah and how we can make the best stay in Holland for him as possible.
Are you and your family in Holland right now? Is it a permanent trip or temporary? How does this poem relate to your family?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Weekend Fun
This past weekend, we didn't have a lot on the calendar to do. We did have a date night for Saturday night which was wonderful. We actually did dinner AND a movie. It was wonderful! But the weather was just stunning for the Columbus holiday long weekend. We were in the high 70's with no humidity. It was nice to be able to wear tank tops and shorts one last time.
We contemplated going to the Fryeburg Fair on Sunday but was told due to the rain earlier in the week, it was packed, hot and over priced. We tossed some ideas around about what we could do that would be a fraction of the cost. This is what we decided to do:
On our way over to the playground, Eli taught us how to chase squirrels!
After playing on the playground, we picked up some yummy goodies at The Cookie Jar. We continued to go down Route 77 to Fort Williams.
I would say it was a success!!!
Tell me, what do you and your family do for frugal fun?!! Write a blog about it and link it up below!
We contemplated going to the Fryeburg Fair on Sunday but was told due to the rain earlier in the week, it was packed, hot and over priced. We tossed some ideas around about what we could do that would be a fraction of the cost. This is what we decided to do:
On our way over to the playground, Eli taught us how to chase squirrels!
After playing on the playground, we picked up some yummy goodies at The Cookie Jar. We continued to go down Route 77 to Fort Williams.
I would say it was a success!!!
Tell me, what do you and your family do for frugal fun?!! Write a blog about it and link it up below!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Apple Picking
Nothing says autumn like a trip to the apple orchard. It was also a very warm, humid day. This orchard serves warm, homemade donuts that are just divine! All of us gobbled them right up- an apple cider donut, blueberry donut, and pumpkin donut. My favorite was the blueberry! I must add that all of these were made with ingredients found right on the farm! Yes-folks, we are still able to pick blueberries in September because we have had a warmer end to summer.
My Eighteen Month Old (Sort of)
I say sort of because I in just a few days, Eli will be 19 months old. I feel as though our lives are happening at lightening speed.
Elijah is a funny little boy. He gets into what we call "Crazy mode" where he starts running around and screaming and laughing incredibly hard. It is quite hilarious. He also tends to make these throat noises that I just can't explain.
He is taking after his daddy and his brother with his passion about books. He will turn himself around, back his rear up into you, plop himself down and proclaim his version of the word, "Read." It is absolutely wonderful. One day he was so insistent about reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear that it really sounded like he was saying it really fast. Who knows- maybe he was?!
Elijah is a funny little boy. He gets into what we call "Crazy mode" where he starts running around and screaming and laughing incredibly hard. It is quite hilarious. He also tends to make these throat noises that I just can't explain.
He is taking after his daddy and his brother with his passion about books. He will turn himself around, back his rear up into you, plop himself down and proclaim his version of the word, "Read." It is absolutely wonderful. One day he was so insistent about reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear that it really sounded like he was saying it really fast. Who knows- maybe he was?!
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